thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
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I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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