He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
