Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.