home. puking in laundry basket.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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