You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize