I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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