i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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