OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize