My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize