I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
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Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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