I'm gonna have a badass scar
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"