is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!