the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma