She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad