Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sober January is a disaster.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
