smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize