just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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