I wish I could teleport
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize