why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho