Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep