At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
