Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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