We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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