do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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