He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
