Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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