waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club