you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo