Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!