I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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