can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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