I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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