when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
