Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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