i permit you to call me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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