Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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