One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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