ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize