I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize