Soap is not a condiment
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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