Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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