I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
