He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
