two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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