I think I just saw someone hide a body.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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