Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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