she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD