so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.