When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD