What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
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Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen