If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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