i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
