Kiss
Puke
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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