Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
