If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize