Just fell off a train. Bad.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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