Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
