guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
