Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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